


second breakfast

by muzzlemutt



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 11:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7101550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muzzlemutt/pseuds/muzzlemutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>lord of the rings au crackfic drabbles</p>
            </blockquote>





	second breakfast

Changmin was beginning to wonder if they would even make half their journey. Forget about coming back alive to tell the tale, just keeping the ring from falling onto the wrong finger was now a daunting task he knew he wasn’t in the slightest prepared for. And all because of some ridiculous bit of lore that required him to team up with a hobbit of all things. 

After he’d been distracted from the mission for a day and a half - suckered into the midsummer hobbit partying by the overwhelming temptation of six meals a day (or was it seven?) - he’d finally gotten his head cleared from that luscious foamy ale long enough to get his bearings. Waking with a jolt, Changmin pulls himself away from the hobbit rump he’d been using as a pillow to stare at the face of the one that rump belonged to. He couldn’t remember the hobbit’s name, but he supposed that the chuberic look of innocence and gullibility on his sleeping face would do Changmin well enough on this mission. He didn’t need someone questioning his orders, so the dumber the ring bearer he chose, the better. 

And if he’s going to be walking a lot with someone, they might as well have a decent asset to look at from behind. 

“Ahem. Hobbit.” 

The hobbit just snuffles in his sleep at that, leaving Changmin no choice but to grab for his staff and prod the short stack in the ribs. Which promptly gets Changmin a kick in the shin by an overlarge foot when the hung over hobbit is jerked awake. 

“Whatsit?” comes the annoyed tone of the groggy eyed one. 

“My name is Changmin," the wizard says, puffing himself up the best he can while stooped over in a hobbit's living room. "Changmin the Lilac. I have some business that needs attending to, something that I require a hobbit for- Why are you laughing?”

Rubbing his eye while he chuckles, the hobbit sits up, though that certainly still leaves him looking up at Changmin, even with the taller’s body hunched over while indoors.

“I just remembered. What you said last night. You don’t need to say it again.”

Changmin frowns. Had he run his mouth while intoxicated? That was not like him at all. 

“And besides, after you gave me something so precious to you, I think I can trust you were sincere.” 

The hobbit is now smiling up at Changmin, like Changmin is the sun casting rays of light upon his glowing face. What the fuck kind of reaction is that to a almost certain suicide mission? And that’s when Changmin sees it, just when the hobbit uncurls the fist that had been rubbing at his eye: the ring on one of the hobbit’s fingers.

“You- you- you fool!” Changmin shouts, just before he lunges towards the hobbit to get the ring off the short creature’s finger. The hobbit was only supposed to carry the ring, not wear the thing! 

For a moment, as Changmin is jumping towards him, staff going clattering to the floor, the hobbit looks frightened. But any fear is quickly pushed aside as he begins to grapple with Changmin, pulling his hand close to his body in a fist again when he realizes that Changmin is trying to get at the ring. 

“Hey! Hey what are you- Just what do you think you’re doing!?”

“You will take that thing off this instant!” the taller fairly growls through gritted teeth while he attempts to lock his longer arms around the smaller frame, with little success. 

“What- Why!? I don’t want to! You can’t have it back after you’ve given it to me!”

The scuffle heads into stalemate eventually, Changmin half twisted around the hobbit’s torso, the shorter finally resorting to playing dirty by stuffing his hands into his own pants, something that Changmin will not chase after, no matter that the ring is something which can bring destruction to the world as they know it. 

“Give it!”

“No! Lay off you bastard! And here I thought you were being sincere! Because you lied I’m just going to keep this! And after we made a toast in front of the whole village!”

“Are you mad!? What the hell would I make a toast about that thing for!?”

Changmin sounds angry he knows, but he’s desperately hoping that he did not actually spill the beans on this one like some complete idiot. Heechul the Rose will have his balls if he did. 

Instead of getting a reply from hobbit, who now seems to have clammed up entirely, jaw clenched as he jams his lips shut, Changmin is finally tipped off about the horrible thing he’d done while intoxicated the night before, by someone who has heard the ruckus and poked his head in through the nearest window. 

“Tsk tsk. You two really do need to be chaperoned eh? Getting into naughty things before you’ve even been hitched. Save it for the wedding night instead, aye?”

The hobbit - who Changmin somehow remembers being named Hyukjae - gives him a lecherous wink before turning and walking away from the window, twirling a stalk of wheat between his fingers. 

Changmin had thought that this ring would be the thing to bring hell upon them all, but it seems he’s brought hell upon himself this time. 

————

Junsu keeps the ring on, because even though the thing oozes an evil aura so constantly that Changmin couldn’t possible wear it himself, there’s some bizarre quirk to Junsu that makes him immune to it. Changmin has a hypothesis that its because Junsu is simply that obtuse a creature, that not even the evil of all evils can permeate his dim wit. Either that, or Junsu is just as evil as the ring itself, which might actually be true, since he guilts Changmin into keeping his word, the one wherein he rather publicly proposed to Junsu.

The two begin their journey away from Junsu’s humble hobbit hole with newly wed streamers and bells tied to the back of Changmin’s cart, the hairy footed one waving merrily behind them as if they really were off for a honeymoon. While they clop and jingle down the road, Changmin figures at least this way, the ones looking for the ring can find it quickly and reprieve him of his own stupidity by sending him to an early grave.  



End file.
